In which I am very rude

First off- I thought I copied this style of title from "Sex Lives of Cannibals" but actually it turns out that I copied it from the author who copied it from the god-awful Winnie the Pooh.  That is the first rude thing I am saying.  GOD AWFUL WINNIE THE POOH.  There.  I am not even going to apologize.  I am very angry that I found this out 13 years after I thought I copied something cool.

The second rude thing I am saying is that I am not super impressed with fancy glass art and I think it looks like tadpoles* (sperm.) I have even been to the Seattle thing (confession, only kinda-  I was shocked at the "$80 per person even kids" price so I just saw the entry and then held a selfie stick over the wall to see if it was worth it) and I really feel like I should try harder to feel the love but no.  I saw too much cool glass art in Emporia, KS (you can major in glass at ESU) to be super impressed.

The third rude thing I am going to say is that I think scrubs look like crap unless you are actually at work.  Are you going to do surgery after you get done shopping at the King Soopers? I am totally wearing yoga pants while I judge you about your scrubs but I thought the whole point of scrubs was to be in clean clothes for the hospital.  I was also just temporarily embarrassed that King Soopers is the name of my supermarket but then I remembered that at least it isn't Piggly Wiggly. (How did that even happen? I know we didn't have focus groups back then but really?)

*When I was a kid in Denton, TX, (and frequented the Piggly Wiggly) my piano teacher had a pool and we were allowed to swim- very much happiness! Then one spring her pool cover sagged and she wasn't on the situation in time and there were several million tadpoles in the rainwater that accumulated.  She didn't want to kill them and we took some home and put them in my brother's aquarium and watched them grow legs and let them go in the backyard.  But then- many huge frogs invaded her pool house and one day she got fed up put them all in a trash bag but since they were alive the trash bag rolled down several hundred yards and scared everyone on Emerson Ln.

Oh I guess I am not done- I might as well get the rest of this off my chest- I totally hate Prairie Home Companion which is completely illegal as a card carrying liberal.  I even get mad when I have to drive on Garrison St. because it makes me think about how many times a week our NPR channel plays that blasted show.

And one more thing.  Why did Hillary name her book "What Happened." WE ALL KNOW.  Also that is a 90's song by Sublime and you cannot have that name.  It is a song about getting black-out drunk "I woke up in the morning and all my friends hate me! What happened?"  At least she didn't throw a bike into a pool?






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